Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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