why didn't you poke me back
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
