Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
