I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
