I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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