Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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