a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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