You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
