Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
