I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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