I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
