This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
