Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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