so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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