First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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