Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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