I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
