I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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