Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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