I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
