Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
