Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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