He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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