So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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