so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize