I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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