After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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