I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
