did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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