craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
