Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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