You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
