I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
