I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
