More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
