I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Randomize
