problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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