Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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