careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
