Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
