Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
a search helicopter?!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Randomize
