My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
