I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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