You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
