why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
