If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
