You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
