But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
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