He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize