all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
