Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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