Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
