Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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