he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
