i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
A+ Viking dick
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
