Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Come share oat with me in your robe
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
