i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
