I just made out with a guy for $7.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
