careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
