so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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