I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
