I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
